Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My conviction

K, so you know that guy in church that you see and you think "Whoa, dude, chill." and he seems so into everything and seems to take everything in the bible too literally?
I envy that guy's faith. I envy his devotion. I envy his guts and his commitment and his desire to do what is right no matter the cost. I come from a long line of people afraid to offend anyone. In my family, you think before you talk and you use your manners and you don't say anything if you think someone will disagree strongly with it. It's a habit I need to kick. I'm all for manners. The bible speaks of getting along with others to the best of your ability. But I will not hide what I believe for fear of making others uncomfortable.
What do I believe? I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour. I believe He died for my sins and through Him alone I will be saved. I believe that the Holy Bible is the word of God; that scripture is God-breathed. I also believe that all too often we are labelled Christians without really deserving to be called such. I believe that we coast and that we find a comfortable spot in life where we can go to church, pray at the dinner table and think our job is done. Salvation is through abandonment of your own means and your own life and acceptance of a sacrifice. It is not earned, it is accepted, but when you've really tasted salvation - the difference between life and death - you'll want more than just to coast. Would you go to the ends of the earth? Right now? I hope you say yes.
Right now my 11 month old son is singing in his playpen, trying to get the dog's attention so that they can play together. He's so perfect in my eyes. Everything he does just shatters my heart.
How will my son learn what is right and what is wrong? By what he sees Matt and I doing. How will he form his understanding of the world? Partly by what we tell him and partly by what he observes. How will my son come to know God? Hopefully because his parents lived with such reckless abandon that he saw God working in our lives and knew that it was our faith guiding us. I hope that I can be a great example for my son of how to be a Christian and I don't think that a great example merely goes to church and prays at dinner. It's a start. But that's all. I want to give him more.
I want to give God more. My Creator. My Protector. My Saviour. What wouldn't you do for the person you loved most in the world? What wouldn't I do for my husband? Would I tell the world that I loved him? (Have you read any of my notes on Facebook??) Would I give up my own money for his cause? Would I trust him and follow him and believe in him? Then how much more for God? Not just any god. The Living God. The Alpha and Omega. The one who knit me in my mother's womb. I can't express the way I feel towards God. The love, the awe, the reverence, the gratitude... So if I feel that strongly towards my God, how can I not do everything in my power to worship and exalt Him?
This is my conviction that's been building for some time now. It's about being a better person but it's more about being a better servant. A better Christian. I will not back down. After all I know, how could I?

Mrs. Vander Leek

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